Only a Cultural Norm (Part Two)

Stepping into a different culture is like meeting a new person. There are first impressions, stereotypes, and misunderstandings. But then, as you get to know the person, you realize that the person is far more complex than you first thought, and that there are reasons behind how he or she acts. You then learn how to really care for the person through relationship…spending time together, learning to listen, and going through life—the tough and fun and the sad and happy etc. How you express love to that person may look different than how you express love to another friend.

Living in another culture has been like meeting a new friend for me this past month (oh my goodness it has been a month!!). I spent a lot of time this week trying to define how love looks like here in India but found myself, stumped. But I think I’m glad I’m stumped…if within a week I could, by myself, figure out how love stands amidst cultural norms, then I’d be belittling the complexity of culture and love. A thank you to those who have given me advice about this topic this past week and pointed me to look at how Jesus lived in the same situations. Interestingly, there were times Jesus acted against and in light of cultural norms. So I guess, to put a blanket statement on how to act while living in an almost opposite culture overlooks TOO many things. I really hate being vague like that, but maybe this topic wasn’t meant to be explained in writing. Maybe I’ll live a little, stop thinking so much, and see what comes next…

Anyway....time for a tangent!! Haha, so one of the most enjoyable things that have been happening here for me in Chennai is spending time with the other volunteers. All of the volunteers are within a two-year age range and all except me are pretty much on the pre-med track (go public health!!) So I love saying something nerdy and not having someone give me an “I-can’t-believe-you-said-that” glance :P. They have all been my go-to people while living in this completely different country and a place where I’ve found people who really understand. We’ve been able to experience the life here in Chennai together whether visiting the local malls, exploring the different restaurants, having awesome conversations, watching Tamil movies, or even learning some traditional dances :D Seriouslyyy one of the biggest blessings while being here.

Yeeeepp so, reaching the halfway point in my stay here in India, which is ridiculously fast. Missing home of course, but appreciation is growing, as I know more and more about this place. Until next time :) Vanakam!! (Good dayyy)

Only a Cultural Norm

Culture is an interesting thing. It affects lifestyles, brings about diversity, creates a variety of GREAT tasting food :P and of course touches upon many other things. What I’m trying to unravel today though, is how much does culture actually DEFINE us as human beings so that it constricts us rather than individualizes us.

For those reading this, don’t worry I won’t go into some IN-DEPTH analytical observation of culture and its affects. Instead, I will just recount something that happened this past week that I can’t quite get out of my mind.

On the way back from an eye camp this week, the van that I sat in contained more passengers than there were seats. Inside the van were the staff, volunteers, and the patients from the village we visited (usually patients are brought from the village to the city so that they can get a proper eye examination). Because there were not enough seats, two of the patients, ladies well above the age of 60, had to sit on the van floor. I noticed, fidgeted in my seat a little, thinking what I should do, and asked one of the other volunteers if she and I wanted to switch seats with the two patients.

One and half hours later, one of the elderly patients, still sitting on the van floor was throwing up in small plastic bag while her friend tried to fan cool air in her face with a scrap piece of paper. How in the world did the situation end like this…

Basically, I was told I should not switch my seat with these elderly patients. Why? First, I had paid for the transportation and the patients had not. Second, the patients were in a lower caste system compared to us, and would not want to sit in my seat. Third, the staff would not approve. When I got that response I sat in my seat, frustrated at the system of things, but then decided to let it go, flipped through my magazine and dozed off. It was the sound of the patient throwing up that woke me up, and it was then that it hit me what had just happened.

Before I go on, I admit that what happened that day was not some life-threatening dramatic encounter, but what motivates me want to blog about this is the broader implications. Anyway, my question to myself is, “Sarah, is it enough to just be frustrated or angry at the system of things?” When I was told about this cultural norm at the beginning of that ride, the “don’t-want-to-cause-conflict” side of me took over, as I didn’t want to belittle the person who expressed to me this cultural knowledge, cause any inconvenient commotion, or disrespect an ingrained lifestyle.

Yet, the sight of that elderly woman, sick as a dog, on the floor right next to me, begs me to think differently. SURE, maybe there was some cultural norm at work, but why wasn’t I convicted enough to at least stand up, talk to one of the staff reason it out, and at least not be lazy, and at least not care if offended my friend who informed me of this norm, to let this lady have a decent ride back to the city. I mean, if I can survive GOLIATH at six flags, then riding on the van floor is far from a problem for me. SIGH! Anyway, I promise I am not being too hard on myself. That is not the point of this blog. Nor is the point for you to think that I am so caring or what not to be considerate of those patients. Far from that. What I’m trying to address here in myself and what I’ve seen to control other people is a restraining of LOVE when it is inconvenient or when it might push against a cultural norm. Is culture so strong as to not see the plain LOGIC of how a 60 year old should have a seat over a 20 year old? (Please tell me if my logic is tainted). Is culture so strong as to keep love from flowing when love might be offensive? Perhaps it’s not a question of the strength of culture but a question of the strength of human love. Dang, God we need help.

ok so, everything above i wrote a couple days ago and copy/pasted using a usb drive. sorry for the break in thought haha. but, um "only a cultural norm part 2" will be coming soon. no idea how much culture could actually affect the lives of the volunteers here. be back soon

Chennai 101 :D

RANDOM tips from my 2 week experience in Chennai.

note: please do not take this all to heart. not the expert quite yet.

-do not nod your head here. no one will understand, instead, master the art of "bobbing" your head. want a visual? observe a bobble-head toy that you might stick at the front of your car.

-eat with your right hand, left hand = improper

-bring toilet paper with you everywhere

-watch out for green papers that cleverly disguise themselves as stringed beans

-you can't escape the hint of indian spices, even in american chain restaurants here

-expect small dessert portions

-bargain with auto drivers, they don't use the meter here (autos = 3 wheeled mini-taxi-like cars that sound like a wind up toy)

-look both ways before you cross the street AND while you're crossing the street, i've had too many life-threatening encounters with traffic

-if you don't look indian, prepare for stares

-smiles speak a lot

-walking barefoot in a professional setting is considered respectful

-trust the waiter/waitress if he/she says SPICY.

-try a mango

-if you normally don't like coffee, you may like it here...no bitter taste at all!

-my staple phrase whenever i don't know what else to say, "vanakam!!" which means, "good day!"

THE END! :) hehe hope you learned something :D until next time!!

beautiful reality

today was beautiful reality. no one says that now-a-days you know? whenever people say reality, they make sure they mention the hard stuff. i know i always do that. but sheesh, reality is beautiful too! i've noticed it in the relationships built here with the other volunteers, in the small encounters with the Indian people, with the random verses painted on the roadside walls here in Chennai...

hm i'm beginning to grasp what God's kingdom here on earth might be like. it is not ignorant bliss. it is not fitting into a certain mold in order to gain heavenly credit. it is not guilt-driven love. it might be something beyond human endeavor...a place where an outpouring of love originates and fills those who are willing to receive it...transforming those people in the midst of the hard and beautiful reality of life on earth, so that they can truly say they've tasted true life.

and dang it, i don't like run-on sentences that sound really lofty like the one i just wrote. but then rereading it slowly, it kind of makes sense. it makes sense because where it all starts, isn't me, but from the Source, God himself. and...it's still lofty cuz i have much to learn. anyway, had to write that down before i forgot.

for all of you at home...thank you so much for those who've shot me random emails, encouraged me through gchats while we talk at opposite hours of the day, and esp those who i know are praying. you have no idea how much it means to me! :) until next time i wander over to this internet cafe...!

God of this City

I spoke too soon. Remind me next time I’m down in the dumps that situations, experiences, can’t be judged by a few impressions. I feel that I should know that by now, but somehow the lesson slips my mind when I’m in the middle of disappointment. Excuse the cheesy-ness, but MAYBE my eyes have gotten better…in terms of seeing this whole India trip with better perspective. Let me tell you what I mean by this…

I was lying in bed this morning and a song ran through my head, Chris Tomlin’s “God of this City.” The song takes a whole new meaning when I’m living in a completely foreign and unfamiliar city. But somehow, the grandness of the concept that God is in this city of Chennai, that every day, people know Him more, here thousands of miles from home, makes me stand in greater silence at the expanse of God’s love…and then, wonder why Chris Tomlin didn’t name his song “God of this WORLD.” But really, it’s been amazing to have the things I know conceptually, such as God being the King of all peoples, become more reality to me now.

This past Sunday, a few of the other volunteers and I attended an international church here in Chennai, and I seriously got chills as the people there starting singing and praising God in Tamil. I looked around me as the people sang, not knowing what exactly they were saying, but knowing exactly whom they were singing for…and then joining them whenever the English translations came up :P…awesome glimpse of unity and diversity at the same time there. Also, some of the eye camps at the rural villages I’ve attended here have been held in the same building the people use to worship God. Talking with the pastors of these villages have been pretty inspiring as I hear their hearts for their village and as I think on the sacrifices they’ve made to serve these people.

So is God here in Chennai, India? A resounding yes! And though I’ve listed the more obvious and physical evidence of this, sometimes it is in the small smiles, or a conversation with the other volunteers, or witnessing the process of an intricate surgery that I am reminded that God is here. And to think, if I kept my focus solely on my disappointment, I would really miss what is really happening around me. I think God just slapped me in the face (a loving slap) to finally see this reality.

In terms of my whereabouts and doings in India, I’ve had a couple of “first time___!” moments

-First time stepping foot into the Indian Ocean! On the volunteers’ day off, we took a road trip along the coast of India…beautiful man.

-First time watching a movie at the theater, entirely in Tamil! HA, was actually able to figure out MOST of the plot

-First time watching a liposuction surgery at one of the hospitals! SO very thankful for the facemask as I could make all the shocked/digusted/jaw-dropping expressions as needed without anyone seeing :D

Anyway, overall I am adjusting, learning, and hoping. Coming to see that, the moment I wake up each day here, is another chance to either trust God or trust myself. Daily battle man. And funny, I don’t have to be in India to know this. Applies right at home too. All right, enough musing on my part. Wishing all y’alls at home well :)

to look on the bright side

A long time ago when I was younger, my dad gave my brother and I a quote on “attitude” that started something like, “10% of life is what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.” I thought of that quote, but I'd rather not think about it, if that makes any sense. It’s one of those convicting things you know in your head, but want to forget because you know its true.

So what’s going on in my head over here in India? I was talking to the other volunteers who’ve either been here as long as I have, or have been here for the past month, and a lot of us are seeing that this organization is not what we had hoped for or expected. I think we are realizing how limited we are in terms of the amount of training and skill we actually have. So far I’ve been able to observe eye surgeries, shadow doctors, and distribute glasses…which all in all seems more to benefit only my breadth of knowledge rather than actually impacting other people. A lot of us, and for me especially, came into this trip with the mentality that we would be useful, make a difference, or experience some life-changing-God-inspired lesson to bring home. And although I’ve only been here for a week, I admit, that I am a little disappointed.

But like that quote, 90% is how I am responding to what’s happening around me right? I think my disappointment stems from placing my hope on the wrong thing such as making a difference, my desire to be relevant. And I know the staple alternative would be to turn around and say to place my hope in God. But seriously, what does that really mean? To trust that maybe it’s not my place to know the purpose of everything? To not base my worth on my ability to help? I don’t know, just throwing out those things that are much easier said than done. Anyway, I’m in the middle of figuring all that out.

On a lighter note, being in India really has been pretty fun. Let me see…
-Food is probably one of the highlights, although that green pepper I talked about the other day, SOMEHOW has found itself in every one of my dinners...
-the Indian people are beautiful, especially the ones I’ve seen at the eye camps, and I love getting to know the volunteers who come from colleges from all over the U.S and Canada.
-every time I go into some kind of vehicle here it feels like I’m literally on the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland, with the adventurous music in the background included. :D

So! *shrug, it’s only been a week, who knows what’s in store. More of an issue of trusting God than anything else. OH LIFE. The same struggles follow me wherever in the world I go, which is no real surprise. Until next time!!

IN CHENNAI!

hi everyone!

i am currently typing this at an internet cafe in chennai, india!

i'm a little in a hurry to type this, so don't mind the rush of words and and probably some typos here and there too. :P

so far india has been abs amazing. already i've gone through a typical day under the Unite for Sight organization. yesterday i helped at an eye camp distributing glasses, met the other cool volunteers, talked to some eye doctors, ate indian food with my HANDS!! ate the spiciest thing IN MY LIFE for dinner (i literally thought i was eating stringed beans when i realized after swallowing, it was a big ole' PEPPER), and learned some cool words in tamil, the native language here in chennai.

but other than what i've been DOING here, lemme give y'alls some of my first impressions of chennai, india. maybe they'll change, but iono, it's kinda cool to see how things are different compared to the US.

-the conception of TIME here in india is really fluid. you can't expect that if something is supposed to start at 10 am, that things will be on time and running. the fact that i'm here at the internet cafe is cuz the next event was just postponed :) a lot of things are really lax and people seem to take things a step at a time...not quite the regular rush and appointment-style feeling of western time.

-people HONK like crazy here. haha not just when cars are in the way. people honk when theyre merely passing by another car haha. so if you wanna imagine the sounds of india, think of lots of honking.

-it is CROWDEd. i couldnt believe my EYEs when i looked outside the airport when i first arrived. there were COUNTless heads waiting for their friends who had just flown in. but no duh, india is one of the most populated countries in the world. :D

anyway! much more to come. i have to go grab lunch now and head off to see a lasik eye surgery yay! miss you all at home :)

sarah