truth and grace must be good friends.

and the blog is back :)

after a month of transitioning back from india into the craziness of berkeley life, i still can't quite say i've had enough time to swallow what happened this summer. sometimes i want to avoid being too idle, for then i am certain to wrestle more with how india, ministry, relationships, academics, and God over all these things, affects me now. so as an attempt to avoid avoidance, i've turned to writing again to help me process...and of course, like all blogs do, stir up thoughts for those who read as well. i'll take things a step at a time, not overly expect myself to be some revolutionary as a result of my experiences, but at the same time be aware of how God has already shaped me in ways i may not presently realize. 

the reason for the title of this blog comes from a recent conviction that addresses the issue of inadequacy...an issue that i've seen overwhelm those who struggle with it, and an issue that i myself am farrr from being immune to.

the link between truth and grace did not start forming until a very good friend of mine used the two words in a sentence while we were having a conversation a couple weeks ago. i wonder if she knows her own wisdom :P anyhow we were talking about truth and grace in application to other people. we were realizing that knowing truth without grace results in judgment, pride, and contempt toward others. lemme see, example would be like this: say i came back from spending time in a developing country and was convicted to spend less on eating out because i knew the truth of where money could be better invested in. having this conviction is not bad in itself, BUT without grace...i would look disgustedly at how other people spend their money extravagantly and criticize those who eat out as their regular routine. without grace, i would not stop to think that people are at such different stages in life, and that me knowing some truth, actually makes me no better a person. without grace i would be so caught up in truth that the opportunity to know the other person and his/her background would pass as insignificant. the lack of grace drains the goodness out of what certain truths have to offer.

how does this all tie into the root of inadequacy? here's something neat. i've found more and more that how i relate to others reflects a lot on how i relate to myself. 

we all know a lot of truths, especially as we grow up. Christians know a lot of truth, as part of growing in relationship with God, Christians are taught much. but knowing truth is far from embracing truth. and here is where the dots connected for me a few days ago. in the same way that truth without grace unfairly places others in lower esteem, truth without grace in application to self, results in feelings of inadequacy that we often put unfairly upon ourselves. most all of us are at a point in life where we are still discovering who we are and the expectation to live up to truths would be unreal if we could master them overnight. we do not take the time to realize that we are humans who are encountering truths. the beauty of truths get lost when we are so focused on how much we fall short in living up to these truths.

so what next for me? befriending truth and grace at the same time. having balance sucks cuz i like to sit on extremes. but one without the other results in judgment (without grace) or complacency (without truth). 

i'm thinking how this discussion really leads to many other things, but i'll stop here for now. of course all this is not the only source of inadequacy, but i believe it plays a part. finding that adequacy? hm that's a whole other truth to embrace :) oh life. nice to be blogging again. until next time