the TIME has come :)

in less than two days, after almost 6 months of preparation, i will find myself looking out into the busy streets of chennai, india. and as dramatic as that introduction kind of sounds, it actually captures really how i feel right now.

clothes packed, camera ready, six inches off my hair, cool "just-in-case" gadgets that i may never use. materially, physically, i think i'm ready. i even have an obnoxious free-standing mosquito net that literally looks like a portable tent coming with me. 

but when i stop with all the frenzies of packing and checking off boxes on my to-do list, i seriously wonder how in the world i ended up coming to this day. this past week at home has been really good for me in terms of preparing mentally, emotionally...all the inside stuff. which actually, in the end i think is more important than all the other preparations i've made. 

so, as a result of coming back home from one of the craziest, challenging, yet truly blessed years at berkeley and looking forward into what i feel will also be a crazy, challenging and blessed summer, i found myself feeling pretty..AH. you know, like when you have a billion things in your head you'd rather not think at all. but i guess i forced myself to think a little. i've realized a lot how God has changed my original motives for going to India. i had wanted to do something relevant this summer. relevant as in, doing something related to my major, making a difference, seeing how the world loves other people. none of those things are bad in themselves, but really, can that be it?

here is what i want, and i hope it's what God has placed in me to want. if not, i'll let you know. :P haha, but i want to know God more. simply that! i mean, that's pretty much daily life anyway. i want to know Him and see how He comes through despite my all-too-human-nature-motive to make MY name great. and while i help those who cannot physically see, i'm hoping that God will heal my eyes too...cuz there's a whole lot of stuff that i know i'm still blinded to. 

anyway, i can make great/slightly cheesy metaphors like physically seeing and really SEEING, seeing (hope you know what i mean), but nothing matters until i'm really out there and aware of it all. so here is a blog that will have a TWOfold purpose :) to keep you, my friends, fam, supporters updated, and for me to have a place to record and remember and maybe discover how life looks like with better eyes. 

i'll have internet over in India, but time will be limited. but still, please update me on life when you have the time :) i don't care if we're an ocean and a continent away, i still care about y'alls. until next time. 

sarah